Overcoming the “post-honeymoon blues”

Have you ever heard of the “honeymoon phase”? Most of you probably have, but if not, here’s a quick recap: the concept basically refers to the beginning of a new experience in which everything feels new and exciting (i.e. like a newlywed’s honeymoon). But this overwhelming joy doesn’t last forever (hence the “phase” part), so here I am, entering my fifth week in Buenos Aires with a bad case of what I like to call the “post-honeymoon blues.” This is a quick glimpse at where I’m at right now:

---

I’ve got a pretty good grasp on how to use the public transit system. I’ve already tried a bunch of new foods. I’ve visited several tourist sites. I’ve started to use the Argentinian accent and some slang terms in everyday speech. But I can’t help thinking: “Now what?”

There’s obviously a difference between being a tourist and being a local. I can see it super clearly in both my hometown (Washington, DC) and my new city (New Orleans, LA), which are both major tourist destinations. Most of the time when I’m in DC, I’d rather go to CAVA (a local Mediterranean quick-eats chain) than visit the national monuments. In New Orleans, I’d much rather spend Saturday nights soaking up the jazz music on Frenchmen Street than flash for beads on Bourbon Street (side note: flashing is tourist-trashy and nobody from New Orleans does it—not even during Mardi Gras. Consider yourself warned).

So now I’m five weeks in and I’m finding myself in this awkward position, where I’m not really a tourist anymore, but I’m definitely not living like a local yet. Technically I have my temporary residency permit, which means I’m no longer here on a tourist visa, but I still don’t feel like I’m completely thriving in terms of making the most of this ~life-changing~ experience. I’m spending more time in my room, not doing things, than I am outside in the world. I feel anxious about going out on the weekends, since I’m new to the whole club (boliche) scene, and I feel like I can’t find anything to do during the weeks, since I don’t have class every day. Which is ridiculous, because Buenos Aires is a massive city that has SO much going on.

I’m learning that the study abroad experience isn’t always fun or perfect. Sometimes it feels like I’m working overtime for a full-time job just to get by, but I know it will be worth it in the end. And I KNOW that I’m not the only one who feels like this when living abroad. So I’m trying to cut myself some slack by reminding myself that moving to another hemisphere is a big life change and that there isn’t a linear, rational timeline for acclimation.

---

…one week later (AKA now)

Since I last wrote on this subject, things have gone SO much better. Life isn’t always ~perfect~, but I’m starting to embrace the ups-and-downs as a normal part of the experience. Nevertheless, I found a few things that have helped me overcome the post-honeymoon blues. Obviously, everybody’s experience is different so my routines might not be relatable/applicable 100% of the time, but here are my four big routines:

1. Just get out of bed in the morning

When I start to feel anxious or blue, my first instinct is usually to stay in bed and try to wait it out. Staying in bed feels like a warm, welcome emotional band-aid in the moment…but just like a band-aid, it’s a temporary fix. I am NOT a morning person, so I’m def still working on this routine….which is why I made myself a little reminder. I haven’t filed for copyright yet, so feel free to copy the design for your own use 🙂

2. Talk to random locals whenever and wherever

Rather than freaking out about the lack of touristy things to do, I’ve started chatting with more local people. Granted many of these conversations were usually looped into an academic assignment, but I’ve gained a lot of confidence (or at least a lack of shame) in my Spanish-speaking abilities by doing so.

My study abroad program requires us to do a semester-long cultural research project; because I love books, I chose to research the bookstore and reading culture of Buenos Aires. For one of the writing assignments, I just went into a bunch of bookstores and asked the owners/employees about the store and how things have changed over the past few decades with the advent of technology. At first these old men just looked at me like I was crazy, but they warmed up to me quickly and we had lengthy conversations. Bottom line: put yourself out there without shame!

3. Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and drink lots of water!

Okay so this might be the most cliché life-hack trifecta in the world, but it still deserves an honorable mention since it really is (usually) effective. Six weeks into my abroad experience, I found a park that I love running in and it has seriously CHANGED THE GAME. JK that might be overly-dramatic, but I feel much healthier and happier now that I have a productive emotional outlet. I’m still working on the “get enough sleep thing” because I’m only human (*cue Christina Perri song*)…but I definitely have no problems drinking lots of water! I’m definitely ~thirstier~ than your average gal (usually significantly exceeding the two-liter recommendation), but nevertheless your body will thank youuuu if you remember to drink water. Treat yo’self to a sexy Nalgene bottle and the world will be your oyster. I’m an avid seafood anti-fanatic so trust me on this.

4. (most importantly) Talk about it…

…because chances are that you’re not alone. Picking up and moving to a new country is a HUGE change. Recently I went on a long-weekend vacation to the beach with the other students in my program (there are only nine of us) and I was really worried that everyone else would be super well-adjusted and it would just be me feeling horribly out-of-place. However, I had some super solid, honest conversations with the other people in my program and it turned out a lot of people had similar feelings of uncertainty and not feeling totally comfortable yet. For me, putting my feelings out in the open helps me to reconcile them a little better, so sharing and feeling less alone was super meaningful for me.

Anyways, this is just what worked for me, but I hope that this might help anybody else going through the “post-honeymoon blues” in the context of study abroad. Thanks for listening!